Isn’t it bad that you have all those stray cats and dogs?

Mind your own business. We love them.

 

What time do the clubs close?

Actually, never.

 

How come you stay up so late?

It’s in our blood.

 

Do you ever get drunk?

All the time. But you can’t tell.

 

Where’s the skate park?

The whole city is kind of a skate park but there is also a professional one, the Skate Plaza in Marousi.

 

Why do the guards in Syntagma Square stand still?

It’s a matter of pride.

 

How come they are all good-looking?

Only the tall and good-looking soldiers can serve as guards in Syntagma.

 

What happens if I tickle a guard?

He will bang his riffle’s butt on the pavement and the soldier nearby will take care of you.

 

Can I feed the pigeons?

Please don’t. They are bulimic.

 

Why can’t I flush the toilet-paper down the toilet?

You don’t want the whole Athens sewage system to collapse.

 

Whatever happened to the Olympic Venues that Greeks managed to built in time?

Most of them they just stand empty. Some of them are used ocassionaly for exhibitions and concerts.

 

How come all the cabs have airconditioning?

You can’t survive an Athenian heatwave otherwise.

 

Where do I find drugs?

In Amsterdam.

 

Where are the hookers?

The brothels can be found mostly on Fylis St in Kipseli and around the Metaxourgeion area. Not very attractive girls cruise Skoufa St in Kolonaki late at night. The colored girls from the Black Continent can be found around Theater Square in Psirri. Mind you, on Singrou Ave, the girls are actually boys.

 

I am free for the weekend. What do you suggest I do?

Take a boat and visit an island like all other normal people. Try Hydra and Aegina from Piraeus, Andros from Rafina, Tzia from Lavrion.

 

Where is everybody from 3-6pm on a summer day?

Somewhere cool, either hugging the airconditioning or by the sea.

 

What’s inside the Greek coffee?

It tastes like sand. Hey, either drink it or stop complaining.

 

How come coffee is so expensive in Greece?

The coffee-shop owners charge also for the chair. It can take a Greek two hours to drink a fredocino.

 

What’s a fredocino coffee?

The love of our life. Took the place of other national greek coffee, the frapé (shaken, not stirred).

 

What’s going on with Greeks and smart phones?

It’s an addiction.

 

Can I call you any time of the day?

Better SMS me.

 

Why is everybody so loud?

Beats me!

 

Are Greeks polite people?

Greeks are hospitable and friendly, but not very polite.

 

Name one thing that’s really unique about Athens.

Summer open air cinemas. Try Thission (under Acropolis), Aigli (in Zappeion), Boboniera (in Kifissia), Dexameni (in Kolonaki) or any one near you.

 

I am really bored of museums. I only want to visit one.

The Acropolis Museum is magnificent. Also the National Archaeological Museum, one of the most important of its kind in the world.

 

Where is your Chinatown?

Around Koumoundourou Square (on some maps might be listed as Plateia Eleftherias).

 

Jesus, you smoke too much.

We know.